Francis L. Holland's Diary

2009-08-28T16:30:00.000-07:00

Person:

I was diagnosed with chronic endogenous depression and BPD, because I also tried constantly to hurt myself (but in atypical ways). I like to do mechanical things, but I never really took care of myself, so I had to go to the doctor's office with a harmed cornea, for stitches in my hands . . .

I swam a river by myself that most people cross in boats, and at other times I swim as far as I can, out into the ocean, I rest there, and then I swim farther out still. If I get scared, I remind myself that death "is nothing but a thing". It happens to people all the time.

Hmmm. "Obsessed with death." There have been times in my life when I desperately wanted relief AND the only kind of relief I could believe in was death. So, I wanted to be dead. Today, I'm willing to consider alternatives to death, but I can't find an alternative that I can have believe in enough to give it a try. (I'm giving one alternative a try right now, living with others, but it's not working out.)

I spent about a year meditating on death, at the end of which I checked myself into a mental hospital, in the hopes that they could do something for me that I couldn't do for myself. But, on the first day in the hospital, I let all of the angry violence out that had been building up in me, and that led me to a lockdown, high security hospital unit of a sort that I don't ever want to see again. I'd prefer to kill myself first. That much I'm sure is true. So, I hide most of my moments of smashing things from others and I try to find other alternatives to exploding in violence, like medication, talking with my wife and a therapist, writing . . .

"What good is medication when nothing in your life ever changes?"

Medication alone hasn't changed my life, except by taking some of the hard, nasty edge off of my anger, so that I could drive more responsibly. I am much less often at the point where I go out and buy implements for the purpose of killing myself.

I think what medication can do is give a person some breathing space to engage in therapy and make life changes that make life more rewarding, like start or change a career, find a girlfriend, get a new apartment . . .

I take diazepam and nortriptaline. The Nortrip is the best anti-depressant I've found for myself so far, even though I become noticeably fat because, like Prozac, the medicine makes me feel as though I always need to eat something more.

The diazepam helps me to sleep, which is important. Sleep deprivation is itself a kind of torture (which is why the CIA made detainees go without sleep for as much as eleven days). Sleeplessness makes people snap. A psychiatrist told me that most of the patients he admitted to the hospital had gotten very little or no sleep in the days before they were admitted.

A doctor told me once that I was doing very well and didn't need to take Prozac and Trazadone anymore. Within the next six months, I had intentionally crashed my car, the uncontrollable tears came back in my eyes, and I started thinking about committing suicide again.

I think it was a foolish and unnecessary decision to stop taking the Prozac and Trazadone, and the results were predictable: the depression, sleeplessness and angst came back. I think the decision that I didn't need therapy and medication was made more on the basis of the clinic's desire to free up space for someone else than based on what would be good for ME long-term.

The episode was really my own doing. Even while seeing a psychiatrist twice a week, with every kind of medication available to me that I might have needed, I just could and wouldn't stop meditating on all of the reasons to kill myself. And didn't go to the hospital as a result of a suicide attempt. I went voluntarily as an alternative to yet another suicide attempt, with a rope or in my car, where other people, perhaps children, might be maimed or killled.

After that last extremely negative experience with a high-security psychiatric ward, I have found the tools to stay unhospitalized for six years. My strategy is to do something new and different when what I'm doing becomes unbearable or unbearably monotonous and unrewarding. If that doesn't work, I move to somewhere new and different where nobody knows me and building an existence all over again, at least externally.

I realize now that I was hospitalized that last time because I ASKED to be hospitalized. When they refused to admit me, I asked whether I would go to jail or to a mental institution if I killed someone? That convinced them immediately that I should be hospitalized. I had thoughts of killing people, but I wouldn't have done so (except to kill myself). I had simply decided that somebody who felt as I did needed to be hospitalized.

Now, I realize that giving that much control to others and putting myself in a place where my rageful fits could be observed and reacted to was a bad idea.

Now, I realize that hospitalization is no solution for me, and I have to use medication and behavioral changes to keep my behavior within limits where I'll never be taken to such a terrible place again (that high security mental ward). I can't even remember much of what happened in the week after I destroyed a solitary hospital room on the first day after my admission. I must have been so drugged up that I can't remember anything. For all I know, I received shock therapy. I can't know that I didn't, because I can't remember anything from that time. (If I did, that would be the first and only time.)

A friend of mine told me to forget about my thoughts of death and go out to the beach, in the sun, and have fun. I realized that if I could achieve what he suggested then my life would be much better. So, I gave it a try and within a month or two I met a beautiful woman at the beach and we spent almost a year together. We traveled. It wasn't perfect, but it was still much better than staying in the house and ruminating about death.

So, I if I have any suggestion, it would be to go out of your house and greet the sun, and spend time with other people who are doing the same thing. Walk in the mountains or on the beach. Buy a canoe and invite a friend to go canoeing with you.

If you don't live near the beach or the mountains, then sell everything you have and move to the beach. Buy a good book and sit in the sand reading. If you don't know how to swim yet, then to to the YMCA or YWCA and learn. Fuck, learn to surf! (I don't know how to surf.)

But don't stop taking some sort of medication. It's like asking, "what will happen if I stop eating?" If you stop eating you will get skinnier and skinnier and then your organs will fail. And then you will ask yourself, "Why did I think not eating would be a good idea or would change things for the better?"

Different Cultures Regarding Traffic Accidents in Brazil and the United States.

2009-07-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

At four o'clock in the morning, I'm looking out my front window when a probably enebriated man crosses the cement and grassy median strip into oncoming potential traffic, blowing out his tires and destroying the bottom of his car engine in the process.

The natural response of someone from the United States is to call the police to have this man arrested and his car towed away. That's what I did, in any case. I wanted to see the drunken sot taken away in chains.

Long before the police could arrive (if they ever did) some five Brazilian men stopped and helped this man to push his car off the road, which prevented it from being hit again by oncoming traffic and also probably prevented this man from being arrested for driving while intoxicated.

Maybe some things just don't have to be such a big deal. Certainly the thousands of dollars of damage that this man did to his now undriveable car should be a sufficient wake-up call to prevent him from driving drunk or exhausted in the future. An arrest might cause him to focus on the police's behavior instead of his own.

In any case, I'm not sure the police ever did come to the scene of the accident. They asked me if anyone was hurt and I said, "no". That apparently was their prime concern, as it ought to be.

The same men who helped push this car off the road also helped to pick up the plastic pieces of the car's undercarriage, so now the road is also clear of debris.

This shows what different expectations one can have based on the culture in which one lives. In the United States, the police would have arrived in an instant in most communities, perhaps banging the drunken man over the head and commencing months of legal processes that would cost the man and the State a considerable amount of time and money. Instead, passersby resolved the situation in this Brazilian town, and perhaps the police would have it no other way.

Michael Jackson has Died at the Tender Age of 50

2009-06-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

Today, Michael Jackson died at the age of fifty, just five years older than I am. Yahoo News and AP say:

Jackson's death brought a tragic end to a long, bizarre, sometimes farcical decline from his peak in the 1980s, when he was popular music's premier all-around performer, a uniter of black and white music who shattered the race barrier on MTV, dominated the charts and dazzled even more on stage.

His 1982 album "Thriller" — which included the blockbuster hits "Beat It," "Billie Jean" and "Thriller" — remains the biggest-selling album of all time, with more than 26 million copies.

Here's a link to listen to most of his recordings.

What will come of the death of Michael Jackson? Certainly we will be reminded of his good moments, (here's an inteview from his fiftieth birthday that show videos of his best times), but we'll aslo wonder again what made him try so desperately to make himself look white, even at the expense of his health. And maybe we will look inward and ask ourselves if straightening our own hair is a manifestation of the same illness that Michael Jackson had?

How many of us, if we had Michael Jackson's money, would go for various rounds of nose refining, buttock enhancing (or removing), breast increasing (or decreasing), in order to look like our version of what a sexy and attractive person looks like?

Maybe we should all be grateful that we didn't have the wealth that Jackson had, so that we couldn't do to ourselves what Jackson did.

Remember, too, the promises of Michael Jackson:

"I'll reach out my hand to you! I'll be your strength in all you do! Just call my name, and I'll be there."

"You are not alone. I am there with you. Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart."

I Congratulate Gays and Supporters for Saying 'Enough is Enough'!

2009-06-16T21:02:00.001-07:00

Cross-posted at PamsHouseBlend.

I've encouraged people to be patient with the Obama Administration over gay rights, but I agree with you that Obama and his AG allowing the Justice Department to file that brief that likens gays to (what crap did they say?) was something that even George W. Bush would only have done with a measure of embarrassment.

So, I'm pleased to see the President taking a concrete policy step with the extension of Federal benefits to unmarried partners, which apparently is something he can do by executive order and something the US Congress is unlikely to try to overturn, the way they did with Clinton's attempts to let gays serve openly in the military.

This is a step apparently will go beyond mere words to substantive action.

President Obama will announce tomorrow that he is extending federal benefits to include unmarried domestic partners of federal workers, including same-sex partners, White House officials said tonight.
Obama will sign an executive order implementing the change in the Oval Office, the officials said, speaking on condition of anonymity to avoid upstaging the president's announcement.
The move would give partners of federal employees access to health care and financial benefits such as relocation fees for moves. The State Department announced a similar extension of benefits last month, with Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton calling it "the right thing to do."
The action will come as welcome news to gay-rights activists, who have voiced loud disappointment with Obama's handling of several issues important to their community. WaPost

As the above article says, Secretary Clinton signaled this policy change last month, but I don't think most people took it as a move by the Administration as a whole. It may have been an appropriate trial baloon to see how the Congress and the right-wing noise machine would react.

And yet gay people and everyone with a sense of justice is rightly infuriated by that idiotic brief that was submitted likening gays to people society abhors.

francislholland :: I want to congratulate you for fighting.

It seems to me that the Obama Administration should simply stop fighting cases that never should have been started or defended in the first place under Bush, instead of embarrassing all of us who supported Obama by offering rationales in court that are simply sickeningly Republican-like.

Since President Obama has assured us that he can "walk and chew gum at the same time", he should be prepared for the well-justified hell that gays are giving him over that stupid and insulting brief, which was really just the final straw that broke the camel's patience.

On the one hand, I don't want to encourage Obama to willfully do things that will cause the Democrats to lose the US Congress in 2010 or force Obama to become Clinton-like (DOMA) in order to win re-election in 2012. On the other hand, the more hell he gets from supporters on the left, the more mainstream he will appear relative to his supporters in the eyes of independents and Republicans come election time.

The risk is that of uniting conservatives behind a family-values agenda if Obama seems to be supinely doing the bidding of those who worked hardest to elect him. What a mess! Complicating things still more, we have to be careful about the poliical friends we choose, because sometimes those who make the most pseudo-progressives noises are actually infiltrators of the Left who are doing the bidding of the Central Intelligence Agency. (Listen to Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga's speech in which he admits that he trained (for his role?) for two years at the CIA while he was starting DailyKos.)

I'm glad gays and supporters will continue to give this administration hell when it steps over the line, as well as consistently pushing policy goal. That brief was way the hell over the line.

I Just Googled Myself to See If I Still Exist

2009-06-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

I just Googled my name to see if I still exist and if I'm doing anything important. Google says I do and I am.

Here, however, is another question the answer to which is far more illusive: Are we each responsible for the acts that our shadows may commit while we are asleep?

Idiot Senate Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus (D-Mont.) Wants to Tax Middle Class Employee's Health Benefits

2009-06-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

Congressional Democrats simply don't seem to know how to make candy out of the sugar they have. Now in control of both the House and the Senate, they want to tax employees' health benefits, even for the middle class, thereby infuriating the very constituencies that put them in office. WaPost

Taxing the health care benefits of the middle class will effectively decrease already stagnant wages. It's a boneheaded idea that would rightfully result in Republicans winning back the House and Senate in 2010.

The smarter idea is that which Obama ran on: increase only the taxes of the rich. This could include people whose health care packages are worth $25,000 or more and who earn more than $250,000 per year. And then increase taxes on the income of the wealthy back to where they were when Ronald Reagan was president. These steps would raise money without slapping the faces of those who voted for Obama and who will decide who stays and who leaves in the next Congress.

The Republicans are going to run on tax increases in 2010. Why give them a new cudgel that will be highlighted in their Harry and Louise television commercials?

Obama should draw a line in the sand, promising to veto any health care plan that taxes the health care benefits of the middle and working classes.

Actor John Voight Calls for Assassination of President Obama

2009-06-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

One would have thought that at the largest national fundraiser of the Republican Party year it would be out of bounds to call for the assassination of the President of the United States. WRONG! Watch and listen to the above video. Actor John Voight says it's up to Republicans to restore the stature of America and to "bring an end to this false prophet Obama". When he uses the phrase, "bring an end" he does not mention or reference the ballot box or the 2012 elections. He simply and effectively calls for the assassination of the President of the United States. CNN

Finally, the FDA Will Regulate Tobacco

2009-06-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

Today,

The Senate approved landmark legislation today that would give the government sweeping new power to oversee tobacco, a centuries-old product used by 20 percent of Americans yet largely unregulated in this country. WaPost

It's about f******* time! My father was a cigarette smoker and some of the worst memories of my childhood are associated with his smoking:

Every surface in the house showed burn marks from his cigarettes left burning like a pot on a forgotten stove;
When I installed a new bathroom floor (at the age of 14) he burned that floor in two places on the first day, when it was otherwise sparkling and new;
On the Van Wyck Expressway, during a roadtrip to New York, my father threw a lit cigarette out the front window of the car, which cigarette was kicked back into the car by the wind, whereupon it burned me eye.

Those are more than enough reasons to hate cigarettes and the people who smoke them, in my still-emotional opinion.

When I was in law school, engaged in my first internship, I represented an old man who had fallen asleep in bed while smoking and who had thereby burned out his own apartment while causing an entire elderly apartment village to be evacuated. In spite of despising what his addiction and carelessness had done to others, I argued successfully that if each of us who had made a mistake became homeless than all of us would be homeless, and not merely my client. But I would not have wanted to be my clients family member or neighbor for all of the tea in China.

So this bill to regulate tobacco is at least four decades overdue in my opinion:

The bipartisan measure, approved by a margin of 79 to 17, largely mirrors a measure passed by the House last month. The House has indicated it will accept the Senate version and will vote on it early next week before a bill is sent to President Obama. Obama, a smoker who has struggled to quit, has said he is eager to sign the bill into law. It comes 50 years after the surgeon general first warned of the health effects of tobacco. WaPost

Make that five decades overdue.

I Hate the Difference Between "Jews" and "blacks".

2009-06-11T04:53:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm reading about reading about James W. von Brun (shot a guard at the Holocaust Museum) in an article co-written by Darryl Fears of the Washington Post (with whom I am acquainted because of an article he wrote for which he interviewed me and James Rucker of Color of Change) and a couple things come to my mind:

Darrly Fears says of von Brun,

He was smart enough to join Mensa, but even admirers considered him a loner, a hothead and a man consumed with hatred. A Suspect's Long History of Hate and the Signs of Strain.

I wonder if reporters will write that about me someday, since I've recently taken to referring to abusive and murderous police officers as "pigs" at my Police Brutality Blog. (I don't call them "pigs" because of their skin color, since all too many Black police officers are "pigs" as well. I call police "the pigs" regardless of their skin color, when they abuse their badges and blue uniforms, and exercise their role in American society, of oppressing particularly those who are not white in the United States, including Blacks and Latinos.

As they sang back in West Side Story,

"Life is all right in America, if you're all white in America."

Things are NOT alright for a lot of whites in America today, but they are considerably MORE alright when whites are dealing with the police, prosecutors, judges and all-white juries.

Because of my role in founding the AfroSpear and my activism in the afrosphere, no one will call me a "loner". But they might say I am consumed with hatred. Look at this paragraph from the Washington Post article about James W. von Brun:

"Von Brunn is obsessed with Jewish people," Blodgett said. "He had equal contempt for both Jews and blacks, but if he had to pick one group to wipe out, he'd always say it would be Jews."

I hate that paragraph. I read it and wonder, why does the Washington Post have a policy to capitalize the words "Jews" and "Jewish", but not the words "black" and "blacks"? Aren't we both ethnic groups with an overall common identity, history, political position, and voting patterns?

I would argue that Blacks are MORE of a cohesive voting group that Jews, as voters, because of our overwhelming and steadfast support for Democratic Party candidates against Republicans. (Look at the degree to which we supported Barack Obama over John McCain and Bill Clinton over George H. W. Bush. Our voting patterns were far more group-cohesive than those of Jews in those elections).

Obviously, the Washington Post is referring to an ethnic group above when they use the word "Jews" and also when the use the word "blacks". So what, aside from color-aroused antipathy, can explain that the Washington Post chooses to capitalize the words "Jews" and "Jewish," but not "Black" and "Blacks?" Can anyone explain the difference to me?

Certainly, the WaPost could have used the term African American, but James von Brun undoubtedly emoted color-aroused hatred toward Black people regardless of what country we are from. And so the term "African American" in that context would obscure a truth rather than clarify one.

I hate the above paragraph because of the color-aroused antipathy the Washington Post expresses when it makes an editorial judgment that it will NEVER capitalize the word "black", even if the write the phrase "black is beautiful". Do they think we're talking merely about a skin color when we say "Black is beautiful"? But most people who are "Black" do not have black skin; we have brown and beige and even red clay colored skin. "When we say "Black is beautiful", we are referring to the culture of an ethnic group and its peoples, with African heritage.

(All human beings originated in Africa, including the whites ones, as we all know today, so even white people have African heritage. But we're referring to the ones who came from Africa over the last 500 years, while excluding those who came from Africa and underwent genetic mutations that made their skin white two million years ago.)

It's pointless to say that Jews (or Blacks, for that matter) are a distinct "racial" group, since the Human Genome Project has concluded, based on DNA studies, that "race" does not exist. And if race is a social construct and that's why the word "Jews" is capitalized, then obviously "Blacks" should be capitalized as well, since (as I pointed out about) most Blacks do not actually have black skin. Look at the photograph of me above and compare it to the color of this typeface. If you think that my skin color is "black" then you have color-aroused perception of skin colors.

It is likewise pointless and insulting to say that the words "Jews" and "Palestinians" are capitalized but not "blacks" because Jews and Palestinians come from an identifiable geographic location. I think everyone knows that Blacks came from Africa over the last 500 years, but we are called "Blacks", as a group, because many of us were not born in Africa, have no personal experience with Africa, but are united internationally principally by the way that we have been treated by whites, as well as because of some African cultural features and preferences that amazingly survived or were created by the way we have been treated by whites over the last 500 years.

In summary, Blacks are an ethnic group as much as Latinos and Jews because of how whites and Blacks have determined our cohesive role in society. To fail to capitalize the word "Black" is to show amazing color-aroused antipathy toward Blacks and to invite the hate of Blacks. In my mind, this failure alone to capitalize the word "Black" should make individual whites afraid to meet Blacks on a dark street corner. Whites who steadfastly refuse to capitalize the ethnic group name "Black" are whites who deserve a beating.

Shadows, Criminal and Tort Law

2009-06-10T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today, I remembered a question that puzzled and vexed me during my first year in law school: Can and should we each be held responsible for the behavior of our shadows when we are asleep?

Possible answers are:

A). We are not liable under tort law for the actions of our shadows while we are asleep because it is not foreseeable that our shadows will do harm to others.

B). We are not criminally liable for acts committed by our shadows when we are asleep, unless we knew of and encouraged our shadows to commit those acts.

C). What the hell difference does it make?

If this question leaves you feeling anxious, then you now how I felt during my first year of law school, and why.

Pam Spaulding Wants to Give Obama a Scalding

2009-06-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

Pam Spaulding over at Pam's House Blend gay AfroSpear blog is urging President Obama to prove right now that he is committed to gay rights, by taking on the issue of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," for example.

This is what I posted in the comments over at her blog:

History tells us that it simply doesn't work for a president to make a prominent gay-related issue one of the first issues he takes on.

Take, for example the first Clinton Administration. No sooner had Bill Clinton tried to end discrimination against gays in the military by executive order than the US Congress overruled him and gave us "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT). Don't ask don't tell has been about as gay friendly as and effective as saying to Black people, "We won't discriminate against Black people as long you don't show us that you're Black and we can't figure it out for ourselves."

Now, what would happen to Barack Obama if he took on DOMA today? Americans would rightly conclude that DOMA was a higher priority for him that saving the US banking system, GM and Chrysler from bankruptcy, chaos and implosion. And if only for the reason that the majority had concluded that Obama's priorities were not in the right place, the majority would come to distrust Obama and oppose EVERY progressive thing he wants to do.

Now, can anyone believe that there was a higher priority for Hillary Clinton in 1993 than health care. She took it on right away and within one year universal health care was dead as a poisoned dog for the next fifteen years (except for CHIPS for children).

You think the pseudo-progressives are on your side on this? Don't count on it! Look what "Markos C. A. Moulitsas" had to say about gays in the military on January 25, 1993, essentially days after President Clinton was first inaugurated. This is a "Perspective Letter" he published in his college newspaper:

"Perspective_letters
Published on Monday, January 25, 1993

Military Right

It's truly disturbing how much ado has been made over Bill Clinton's campaign promise to lift the ban on homosexuals from the U.S. military. It's ironic how it has taken a president who has never served in the military to make a promise that affects the military in such a negative manner.

Those who have served in the military, such as myself, understand the demands and pressures of military life are incompatible with allowing integration with homosexuals. I'm neither socially conservative or prejudiced, and neither is liberal columnist Mike Royko, Gen. Colin Powell, and influential liberal Democrats Sam Nunn and Les Aspin, all who've come out against lifting the ban.

Under military circumstances, as much has to be done as possible to focus the unit's mission and keep disciplinary problems to a minimum. Worrying about whether the known homosexual sleeping next to you is watching as you change your underwear may seem trivial as you read this, but to the soldier who's short-tempered after three weeks in the field and four hours of daily sleep, it becomes a matter of great importance to his pride and sensibilities. And in any case, there aren't many people who would change clothes in a group of co-workers if members of the opposite sex were in the same room watching. There is something inherently uncomfortable about it.

Such fears would go a long way in disrupting efficiency and morale in a unit.

MARKOS C.A. MOULITSAS

Undecided

Freshman
OK, so there are those who want to believe that this letter was written long ago and that Moulitsas Zúñiga has changed his tune. Do you also want to believe that EVERYONE who had crap like this to say back then has changed their tune?

What about Colin Powell? Is he going to stand up against gay rights again as he did against Clinton in 1993? Has anyone checked to see if he and his fellow military people have changed their tune?

What about Obama's new Republican Army Secretary? Is that Republican guy going to support the Congressional act that would be necessary to get ride of DADT?

What about all of the Black ministers who will condemn Obama if he sides with gays on anything major? What about the Republicans and Blue Dogged Democrats in the US Congress who, taken together, form a solid majority?

In all likelihood, putting Judge Sonia Sotomayor on the US Supreme Court will turn out to be one of the most significant things Obama has done for gay people in his terms in office. If you disagree, then just imagine what you would be saying if he had chosen someone who was AGAINST gay rights! Who's more important? A minister at the innauguration or a Justice of the US Supreme Court?

Choosing Sonia Sotomayor is a fundamental act of fairness for gays, and it's perhaps the most important thing he's done since he was inaugurated.

I guarantee you that if Obama takes on DADT and DOMA when the unemployment rate is at 9.'% and rising then he will be either ridden out on rail in 2012, or the Democrats will lose the US Congress like they did in 1994, and then Obama will be forced to sign idiot laws like DOMA, just as Clinton did back in his terms of office.

Patience is a virtue in chess an in politics. My father used to say, "Strike (the iron) when the iron is hot!" The corollary is that if you strike the iron when it's not hot, then you can't make a dent in it and you might even break the rest of your tools in the process of trying.

I'm telling you like I see it. Wait until the recession is over and the unemployment rate has gone down (there are some gays out of work too, and they need the economy to improve as much as anyone else, right?) Wait until we have universal health care and gay people with AIDS can get the treatment they need.

THEN, we can attack DADT and DOMA, when Obama is riding high as a successful president rather than proving himself, and perhaps proving (depending on what he does) that he doesn't know what he's doing.

President Johnson was in the White House for three and five years respectively before he passed the Civil Rights Act (desegrating restaurants and other public places) and Voting Rights Act, right?

Should Obama get less time and less patience to overturn DOMA and DANT then Johnson got to desegregate the restaurants and the voting booths?

Clintons Lose Virginia Governor's Race

2009-06-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Click on Photo
for a Piece of Family History *

Cross-posted at NowPublic.Com.

Since I learned yesterday that Terry McCauliffe was trounced in his Democratic gubernatorial primary in Virginia, by a large margin, I've been thinking that the biggest losers in this are really Bill and Hillary Clinton and the Clinton legacy.

Terry McCauliffe has been a big and high-profile financial and political supporter of the Clintons for years and particularly during last year's presidential primaries, when the Clintons sought to win on the basis that Barack Obama had a different skin color from the majority of the voters. (This is what Bill Clinton was pointing out to America when he said after the South Carolina primary that Jesse Jackson had won South Carolina too. The only significant similarity in this comparison between the Harvard educated US Senator and Jesse Jackson was their skin color.) Disagree if you will, but that's how Black people perceived it and Black people can account for thirty percent of the Democratic primary vote in Virginia.

I was a well-known online blogging supporter of Hillary Clinton until she and Bill began trying to use Senator Obama's skin color against him. After the Clintons' color-arousing appeals began, I was quoted in the Washington Post, saying,

"We are tired of Hillary Clinton telling America that we are less than American simply because we refuse to vote for her," said Francis L. Holland, an African American blogger." Ironically, the Clintons embraced us, and even embraced Pastor Jeremiah Wright for support during their impeachment scandal." Holland was speaking of the congressional trial that followed former president Bill Clinton's liaison with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. "She has forfeited the black vote for the foreseeable future with her color aroused appeals." WaPost

In other words, last year's race alienated a lot of Black voters from both Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Virginia has an enormous Black vote. Before Bill Clinton tried to color arouse the electorate in 2008, Black people might have turned out in larger numbers and supported the Clinton candidate just because Bill and Hillary said so. But after the color-arousing behavior of Bill Clinton in 2008, Black people in Virginia might vote AGAINST a candidate simply to punish Bill Clinton, who has never apologized for his behavior of last year.

Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post's "The Fix" (a white male blogger who never (ever?) quotes Black bloggers, but often quotes the two-year CIA "secret agent" trainee and homophobic Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga of DailyKos), Cillizza says in his post of today that among the losers in Virgina yesterday were:

The Clinton Legacy: Not only did McAulliffe, the national chairman for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, lose in his first run for elected office but so too did Adam Parkhomenko, the wunderkind who came to prominence as HRC campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle's assistant during the 2008 campaign. Parkhomenko, who was running for the 47th district House seat, wound up placing third behind winner Patrick Hope. Chris Cillizza

I understand that Black people are typically thirty percent of the vote in the Democratic primary in Virginia, so if they turn out in great numbers (particularly in a primary where only 5% of voters showed up at the polls) Black people can decide who the Democratic gubernatorial nominee will be. This year, I believe they decided NOT TO support the candidate whom Bill Clinton supported.

Get mad if you want, but if Bill Clinton ever wants to move the Black vote again in favor of a candidate, he should either apologize for trying to color-arouse the electorate in 2008. Or, he should stop "helping" candidates who run in districts that have significant Black populations, because his "help" is as caustic as acid.

As for Chris Cillizza and Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga, who admitted on June 6, 2006 at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco (audio tape) that he trained for two years to be a "secret agent" at the CIA, I really don't understand why Cillizza quotes Moulitsas Zúñiga so often without ever telling readers that Moulitsas Zúñiga was trained for two years in Washington, DC by the CIA. The Indictment of Markos C.A. Moulitsas ZÚÑIGA by Justice and History (Updated with Additional Information and Counts)

I also cannot understand why Chris Cillizza describes Moulitsas and DailyKos as "liberal" and "progressive" when Moulitsas is known to have written a letter opposing ALL, that's right, ALL gay service in the US military.

I think there's something very fishy going on between Chris Cillizza and Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga, and I suspect it may be related to the "highly secretive" Townhouse Group. (SourceWatch.Org.)

* * * * * * * * *
* Above, you see a photograph of me that links to a news source covering a significant family event, and I offer this to help put my opinions into context. Compare that to Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga: If you search the entire World Web (and I have), you will not find one single example of where Moulitsas Zúñiga has named even ONE member of his blood family. He refuses even to name the uncle whom he claims was once the education minister for the nation of El Salvador. So, I have had to research this man for myself and what I found will amaze and astound anyone who has only learned about Moulitsas Zúñiga from mainstream media "sources" like Chris Cillizza.

2009-06-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm reading that Sarah Palin is making waves among Republicans as she makes it clear that she wants to be president and will continue to pursue her ambition. And why shouldn't she? We certainly have had some white male Republican presidents who were at least as untruthful, overzealous, underintelligent and simply dumber than Palin. Let's face it: A woman doesn't get to be governor of a state unless she knows something about how politics works and isn't afraid to challenge the men to an electoral wrestling match.

Sarah Palin's no wall flower. She's more like a wall Swasticka (sp?) She stands out and offends everyone with any sense, which is how Republican presidents always get elected. Given a choice between Palin and Haley Barbour, I think I'd have to choose Palin. If the Republicans ram her head through the glass ceiling of winning the Republican nomination, then she will have made a tremendous step forward that even Hillary Clinton wasn't able to make.

And let's face it. The Republicans are out of ideas, they're obviously averse to confirming the first woman Latina on the Supreme Court, which will doom them with Latinos if they keep it up. And a match-up between cool, culture icon Barack Obama and silly eye winker Palin would have to leave Obama on top, since nobody in his right mind would trust Palin as a babysitter, much less as president of the United States. And yet she's Governor of Alaska.

I say, let the Republicans break the glass ceiling in 2012, and then let's give Palin the same send of four years from now that we gave her in 2008. You're spunky, Sarah. Now get off the stage, because the country needs a president who doesn't have a bear skin rug with head still attached on the couch of his office. I think America has been ridiculed enough without making Sarah Palin our emissary to the world.

Tasered While Black Internet Radio Show Launched

2009-06-09T08:02:00.001-07:00

Today, my friend and afrosphere colleague African American Political Pundit announced that he has launched a new Tasered While Black Internet Radio Show, which I hope will include some call-ins by people who have actually had the experience of being tasered.

As I commented at AAPP's blog, I don't think you have to have been personally murdered to understand that murder is bad. Likewise, those of us who haven't been shocked with 50,000 volts yet need to work to make sure that it never happens to us, our children or our neighbors. Because often "tasering" results in electrocuting and dying. And that IS bad.

Of course AAPP and I differ on the role of electric shocks in law enforcement. AAPP believes that they can be used as an alternative to deadly force, but I think that, like choking, the application of 50,000 volts of electricity to people whose physical condition is a mystery to police is a practice that is inherently dangerous and inherently has a high risk that many people will die among those who are shocked. Particularly since that is sometimes the INTENTION of the police who use these weapons.

I don't think electrical shocks have any place in law enforcement, grammar schools, mental hospitals or playgrounds. Electrical shocks are inherently dangerous. Police in the United States operated for 300 years without these weapons.

AAPP says he is willing to see these weapons used as an alternative to deadly force. If he can show me ONE example of a city where deadly force decreased after police had access to electric shock devices, then I might be willing to listen to that argument. However, I suspect that police are continuing to shoot people and, in addition, are electrocuting people who would never have been shot.

Again, I challenge anyone to show me statistics that prove that police shootings decrease when police have access to taser electrocution devices. That's about as likely as rapists using less physical force because they have access to handcuffs. Let's give rapists handcuffs and see if that reduces the physical force used in rapes?

Black Man on the Titanic Ignored by the Media, Hollywood

2009-06-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

Today, Adrianne George of the AfroSpear's Black Women in Europe Blog informs me that there was a Black passenger on the Titanic (although there were none in the passenger cast that I can remember).

That's one of the reasons I hated the movie "Titanic". I knew intuitively that there were some Black people on the doomed vessel and that Hollywood had made a conscious decision not to include that in their depiction. Once I saw there were no Black people on the ship, I couldn't wait for the damned ship to sink, along with its segregated cast, so that I could leave the theatre.

Hollywood doesn't care that if they had told the story of that Black man during the movie then Black movie-goers (who go to more movies than whites do per capita) would probably have added another 10% to their domestic box office receipts. But their hubris and arrogance is like that of the captain of the sinking Titanic.

The following comes from Adrianne G. George of Black Women in Europe:

The only black man on the Titanic! Imagine that...............no one knew, like most of history, we were excluded.

Photo Album

There was a Haitian man on the ship! His uncle was President of Haiti! Joseph Phillippe Lemercier Laroche was the only black man, a Haitian man, to perish in the Titanic; that's after he saved his wife and kids. Laroche was born in Cap Haitian, Haiti , on May 26, 1889.

In the blockbuster film Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio's role could have easily been played by a Black man and it would have been historically accurate. In fact, the life story of Haitian native Joseph Phillippe Lemercier Laroche is far more intriguing than the movie's lead character, but no one knew of his existence until recently.

The silence about the stranger-than-fiction life story of the Titanic's only Black passenger astonishes noted Titanic historian Judith Geller, author of Titanic: Women and Children First, who said, "It is strange that nowhere in the copious 1912 press descriptions of the ship and the interviews with the survivors was the presence of a Black family among the passengers ever mentioned."

The story of this interracial family was not known until 2000, three years after the movie's release, when the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry and the Titanic Historical Society revealed the information as part of a Titanic exhibit.

Joseph Laroche was born into a powerful family. His uncle, Dessalines M. Cincinnatus Leconte, was the president of Haiti When Joseph Phillippe Lemercier was fifteen, he left Haiti to study engineering in Beauvais , France . Several years later, he met Juliette Lafargue, the 22-year-old daughter of a local wine seller. The two eventually married.

Despite having an engineering degree, Joseph's skin color left him unable to find employment in France . The Laroches decided to return to Haiti and booked second-class reservations on the Titanic. After the ship struck an iceberg, Joseph loaded his wife and children onto a lifeboat and he went down with the ship. His body was never recovered. (FLH says, "They never recovered his body.")

Shortly before Christmas of that year, Juliette Laroche gave birth to their son, Joseph Laroche Jr.

Juliette never remarried.

Strategizing the Front Page of the Truth About Kos Blog

2009-06-08T17:01:00.001-07:00

Today, I decided that from now on the first page of the Truth About Kos (DailyKos) blog will be dedicated to:

The Indictment of Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas ZÚÑIGA
by Justice and History
(Updated with Additional Information and Counts)

I figure that this is the article I've written that really lays out the case against Markos C.Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga (MAMZ), with all of the links to the most important articles gathered together in one place. This is the article that is most linked to out of all the articles at "The Truth About Kos." By putting the indictment on the first page, I will know that new readers of the blog will not be confronted with minutia, but will see the whole issue laid out methodically and completely.

The downside of this approach is that regular readers may get the impression that the blog is not being updated and so there's no reason to visit it regularly.

So, another alternative would be to name a new and separate blog, "The Indictment of Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas ZÚÑIGA by Justice and History (Updated with Additional Information and Counts)." This would make the indictment easier to find for those who are not following a direct link to it, but will also allow me to update the blog regularly as new information or commentary becomes available. So, I think I'll start the new "Indictment" blog right now. (Hold on while I go and put this new blog up!)

I Paid Some Bills Online Today!

2009-06-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm feeling powerful because I have begun paying my bills online, (as others have been doing for years already, I know). But this has been complicated for me because I am terrible at remembering user names and passwords. So, I just use the password "123456" for all of my accounts. (Yeah, right! Do you think I'm such an idiot as to use such a simple password AND post it at my blog? HAHAHA)

In fact, my passwords are sufficiently complex that I once opened an account at a bank, moved 12 hours away, and was unable to access the account because I couldn't remember the passwords. I put in the wrong passwords, the account was locked, and the customer service people said, "Just come into the bank (12 hours away) and we'll fix it for you right away!" So, many account functions stayed blocked from the year 2004 until the year 2008.

I'm now doing online banking, but many people here in Brazil are afraid to do electronic transactions over the Internet because Brazil is one of the international hotbeds of hacking and cybertheft. However, I'm from the United States, where more and more people buy online all the time. I'm used to it. And I figure that any hacker worth his/her salt will have a program that identifies accounts that have a large balance. If so, I'll never be the target of a hacker. And if I am, I have very little to lose.

Of course, someone could use my name and other identifying information to open accounts and charge things that I would never be able to pay for. But, what's the alternative to taking that risk?

In Brazil, people cannot send checks in the mail to pay their bills. Instead the alternatives are either to go to a payment store, wait in line and pay by cash, or pay bills online. (If you're a wealthy corporation, you don't have to pay your utility bills at all, since they'll let the bills pile up into the millions.)

Since I have to pay, I prefer to pay bills online, because otherwise I would procrastinate until my lights and telephone were disconnected. (Yeah, I'm speaking from experience! These are more immediate and palpable worries than some cyber criminal so stupid as to hack accounts that have little or no money in them.)

So, I've paid my telephone bill today! I've paid my electricity bill today! I've been responsible and at much less than half the aggravation involved in going to a payment house!